Let’s get one thing clear straight from the get go, unlike Cat Maniego and Joe Shackley, I am not a German citizen (actually neither are they, as they are Asian and American respectively). I am in fact a Mancunian. However, I have not lived in the UK for over eleven years, and have travelled the world a fair bit, where upon I settled in Deutschland seven years ago. Got that? Good.
What I can bring to this (sort of) conversation is a perspective of someone who has lived a lot, experienced a lot, and … well, takes the piss out of pretty much everything. I am a lifelong Blue, have written officially (a lot) for MCFC and even had a book picked up by a history publisher about the club. But enough about me, and more about the club and I; after all that is what this should be about.
I was born under the shadow of Old Trafford. My friends were reds, my family were reds, and all I knew were reds, so I decided to become a Blue. Manchester United, y’see, just didn’t sit well with me; they were like a good looking meal as opposed to a cheese sandwich, only for it to inevitably give me severe gas and have to spend several hours on the toilet. Remember, Blues, cheese sandwiches are good. These days, however, those cheese sandwiches come with a side order of Porterhouse steak and as much beer as you could ever wish to have.
It was not always like this of course as most of you know, and you are likely to know that we were in fact far bigger, once upon a time, than our red rivals. You may not know how many times City saved United from extinction or indeed embarrassment, but if you wish to know that you’ll either have to ask me or buy my book (sorry, I said this would not be about me-me, but I have digressed somewhat …).
What I can say here is that as a Blue in Germany it feels … well, strange. I live in the city of Munich, so naturally I am expected by all to be a Bayern fan. I should, as a City fan, go with 1860, as they are the underdogs in this State, are Blue (the actual colour of Bayern), and are down and out. Now whilst I do look out for them I actually root for Augsburg FC – a club promoted two years ago into Bundesliga Einz, and whose stadium sponsorship only netted them €1m. Yes, they are that pathetic, and it is why I follow them (naturally making me a football hipster). All that said though, they recently beat Bayern 1-0, and, Bayern fans, you can take your ‘resting players’ and shove it up your arse.
But what is it really like to be a Blue in Munich? To wear the colours everyday and fly the flag? Sadly, very little. Bayern are so far up their own arses that I have only ever encountered one negative event, which ended as quickly as it takes to jovially say “fuck off”. I even drive a car with MCFC plates, but as Karl-Heinz Rummenigge suggested the other day, due to us having no history it is doubtful the citizens of Munich know what the letters and numbers mean.
Blues of a certain age will recall the 1990s and how red Manchester seemed, and we are not talking just down the pub. The newspapers, radio, TV, everything pointed to United when talking about Manchester. Now imagine that to the nth degree and you have Bayern Munich; being a City fan here is akin to being an Aberdeen fan in North London – I am but inconsequential. But on another level my club is not.
Bayern are one of the old elite (even though City were founded before them and won a top division title and a European trophy before they did), and they have a sense of privilege, to the point that they feel they have a right to be sitting at the top table. We – Manchester City – have no right according to them, yet there we sit and there we shall stay. This upsets them. A lot.
This makes me happy.
The fan’s attitude towards Manchester City isn’t really an issue to be fair (as arrogant as they may be). They may feel like they have a sense of entitlement but this is nothing compared to those who run the club itself. The German league is a particularly rich one, and with Bayern sat at the very top they skim off the money with ease. However, compared to the riches of the Premier League and the wealth of Manchester City they are paupers.
Yes, I know about the yearly financial reports that put Bayern up there near the top, but they are very worried about this new money coming in, and with the incoming relaxation of the FFP rules this will only exacerbate those worries. This is why they are constantly moaning about us and saying silly things like the ‘no history’ thing, which is very Manchester United-esque.
This led me to drive to Bayern Munich HQ, the other day, and hand deliver a copy of my City history book to Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. In I walked wearing a Cty shirt and explained at the reception why I was there (I had, initially, inadvertently gone to the wrong department and found myself pitchside at the training grounds; not that anyone asked what I was doing there), and that the book – along with a message in German on the first page – was for him. They weren’t going to allow me to see him, but it was promised they would give it to him.
Will he read it? Who knows. His English is certainly good enough to understand it (although whether he will get the humour in the book, I do not know), but one suspects that the arrogance will prevail and it’ll likely end up balancing a wobbly table or dumped in a trash can.
So there you go. Most days I am seen wearing the colours of my club and many recognise me because of it. I never miss a match but, sadly, I’m not able to see them live very often, which is probably my only regret of living here. ‘Tis a small price to pay though and I have no problem being a lone blue in a swathe of red (although I do know of at least three other expat Blues living here in this city), and always look forward to the annual visit to this wonderful town in the Champions League, whereupon I get to catch up with Blues from my homeland over one or ten drinks at various Bierkellers; next time you’re over here, give me a shout.
Mike Devlin is the author of ‘Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History’, a satirical guide to the club. It is available online and in all the highstreet book stores.
Click this link to find the Amazon page for Mike’s new book: Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History.
